一只电视虫一屁股坐在我旁边，眼睛直勾勾地盯着电视机。我凑近它仔仔细细地观察。太好了！这种有趣的动物和我的研究最对路了。这种虫是唯一可称之为“电视狂”的动物，其大脑结构复杂，由一团没有情感的电线和闪动的画面构成。它不断需要电视是由于这种需要本来就是电视以闪动画面代码编制的程序，并已输入其大脑。事实上，它能独立地和电视进行交流。他们之间的对话还不能被翻译，不过，语言学家们正为之努力。

Mutation into the  Maximus  state  can  be prevented by isolating the prospective Maximus from communication with any working television for eight weeks, preferably by sending it to summer camp. If you think you live with a future Maximus, watch for its unmistakable method of feeding on, or "watching" TV.  It  will  sit  for as  long  as  possible, eyes set, feet apart, undisturbable, singing along with the commercials hypnotically. Look into its  eyes  deeply and you will actually see the pink, blue,  red,  and yellow images  being  absorbed.  Its  voice  will match that of the person  singing  the  commercial  ditty,  and you will hear it singing these ditties in order at the dinner table, or in other places. It is entranced.

    要阻止这种虫变成成虫也不是不可能的，只要将幼虫和任何工作着的电视机隔离八个星期就可以了。更好一点的办法是送它去夏令营。如果你还不能确定它是不是只“电视虫”，只要看它是不是准确无误地进食，或者说“看”电视即可。它能一直坐在那儿，眼直直地，双腿分开，不受外界打扰，还令人昏昏欲睡地跟着那些商业广告歌一块唱。再深入一点看它的眼睛，则会发现它看到的粉、蓝、红、黄等颜色各异的画面都被吸收了。它的歌声与那些广告小调歌手配合得天衣无缝。如果你听到它的餐桌上，或者随时随地哼哼这些小调，你就可以确定：它是只“电视虫”。

If extended periods of this kind of viewing are not available, it may show symptoms of TVlackasitis. This disease is  not  uncommon among Maximi and is occasioned  by  chronic  lack  of TV. At  the onset of this disease, T.Maximus rushes the TV set and thrusts its dirty, chubby appendages at the power button, only to be forcibly stopped. Then it sounds its warning call, "I wanna watch TV I wanna watch TV!" This alarms anyone in the area, including the Household King or Queen. Next it unleashes a big,  wailing fit, writhing  spasmodically on the floor until  it is certain  that  every member of the household is watching. It directs its greatest spasms toward a sympathetic adult. This impresses everyone so much that it is  allowed  to  feed until it is no longer hungry. Approximate feeding time is ten hours. During  these  precious hours of feeding，it will watch anything, It may even watch the news  or  the Spanish channel, the Maximi equivalent of Brussels sprouts or cauliflower.

    如果不能长期观察它的这些症状，还有另一种症状：电视缺乏症。这种症状在此虫界非常常见，是由于偶然没看成电视引起的。有这种症状的虫儿冲向电视机伸出它脏兮兮、胖乎乎的上肢要按开关时，如果受到阻止，它就会发出警报信号：“我要看电视我要看电视！”这警报会惊动全家大小，包括一家之主。接着它会放声大哭 ，在地上抽搐似地来回翻腾。确定每个人都在关注它时，便直接向最具同情心的那位成人表现它痉挛的最高潮。这时，每个人都认为必须喂饱它，最起码也得十个小时吧！在这宝贵的十个小时中，它什么都能“吃”，甚至新闻或西班牙频道，都成了这只虫的布鲁塞尔豆芽或花菜。

There is usually  one  in  every  home. They  are  six  to  nine years old and have no homework, chores, or  other  responsibilities,  and  their schedules are built around the TV. They are closely related to  the  Nintendus Maximus. Both species are commonly known as "little brothers."

    通常，每家都有只“电视虫”。大约六到九岁，没有作业，不用做家务，没有别的义务要承担，他们的作息时间完全根据电视而定。这种虫和“九龄虫”非常接近，都属一个科——“小弟弟”科。